don't return that call....

CATCH-UP POST:
JAN 13, 2012

Today I learned an important lesson:  If, on a Friday at 4 in the afternoon, you receive a call from a friend in LA you rarely hear from, and if that person leaves a message stating that they have a question about something relating to New York, you should definitely, definitely not call them back until at least a week later.

If 

      you 

    call 

                them 

         back, 

you will find that they don't have a question, per se, but rather -- A PROBLEM.  An emergency problem.
{THE EMERGENCY:  They need several crates containing thousands of batteries picked up from an audio supply house in Midtown.  The audio place closes in an hour and a half.  Your friend is Seth Lloyd, MSU '07.} You will then find yourself in a rushed and urgent situation which will lead you to such depths as asking your coworkers very personal questions about their Long Island commute and weekend whereabouts, leaving work early, throwing your former plans for the evening out the window, fighting with multiple cab drivers because apparently there's a thing called "Shift Change" that happens at 5:30, rushing uptown to reach a destination that self-destructs at 6 PM sharp, waiting outside on a windy and desolate midtown block for a very expensive car service, receiving a call a half hour into your wait to inform you that there's been an accident on the Brooklyn-Queens expressway which is causing traffic to back up to the extent that your car may or may not show up to retrieve you, watching four firetrucks pull up on the street in front of you because the building across the way is possibly on fire, hauling the heavy cargo you've agreed to take care of for your LA friend down the block, one box at a time, towards the evil that is Times Square to see if maybe, maybe you can hail a cab this go around (they aren't driving past you anymore on this block because the police have blockaded it for the fire crew), and frantically trying to formulate a plan B to somehow get this all-important cargo to a safe indoor place so the reality tv show that needs it for their shoot on Monday can have it.

You realize, during all of this, that there are much more important things happening in the world than the hassles this reality tv show is putting you through so it can sustain its walkie-talkies.

At the end of the day, you've made $38 for two hours work because the car service charged $70 when they finally showed up (not bad, still).  You're relieved to hear on the radio that nobody was hurt on the Brooklyn-Queens expressway; that the accident was an ironically downed NY Lotto billboard - the only part of which was left standing reads "Hey, You Never Know".  Thank you, Lotto, you are so right about that.

Jackpot?